Why I Want a Wife
I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am a wife. And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother.
Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening it suddenly occurred to me that I, too, would you like to have a wife. Why do not I want a wife?
I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and I need be, support those dependence upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children.
I want a wife who takes care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will plan the menu, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school.
I want a wife who will not bother with rambling complaints about a wife’s duties. But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course of studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have witten them.
When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit work and remain at home so that my wife can more will type my papers for me when I have written them.
When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit work and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of wife’s duties.
If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.
My God, who wouldn’t want a wife?